Gordon Freeman gains a shotgun after snooping through an office, but fails parkouring up an elevator shaft and ends up accidentally killing himself.
[The camera fades into Freeman finishing up some some snacks he got from a vending machine.]
Freeman: Mmm, that was good. Now I need to find a sink, my hands have cheese powder on them. I can't just wipe them off on somebody else's labcoat like I normally do. Well, I could use the dead guy's labcoat, but that's not sanitary. Feeling up dead people is how you get germs!
[he drops down from the little bridge he's on down to an office block, which leads to an exposed elevator shaft.]
Freeman: Where am I going? I guess I'll check out that office.
[Freeman steps over the corpse of a zombie and scientist before looking at a broken office window. A shotgun and shell-box are laying upon the office's desk.]
Freeman: OH! Is that a shotgun? Who keeps a shotgun and extra ammo in their office? That's hardcore. [picks the firearm and its ammo up] Who's the sheriff now? [he blasts a shell into a metal filing cabinet, blowing it to bits] YEAH! [he repeats this action on another cabinet] I could do this all day.
[Freeman peeks his head out of the window and looks up on the bridge he was on, seeing an exit door. He desperately fires a round into the door, but of course, it does not budge.]
Freeman: I need to find some more stuff to shoot. Shooting the bodies would look cool, but I don't wanna get that stuff on me. [he jumps out of the office.] Oh, what about that locked door? I'll make a new door with this baby! Call me Alibaba! [he confronts the locked door.] Open sesame! [he fires a round into the door's window, but it hardly dents it. Angrily, he fires two more shots, but to no avail] Fine then, close sesame! Man, three rounds of buckshot point blank. What the hell? It's like one of those doors from Looney Tunes, where they blow up the whole building but the door's still standing.
[he begins approaching the elevator, which is missing a door, revealing its huge shaft.]
Freeman: I bet it's locked on both sides and no body has the key. [Freeman analyzes the shaft and sees metal handles lining the walls.] Let's see, can I climb up this? I don't think I can. Those edges are slanted, so even if I could reach it I'd just slide right off. You'd think that they don't want people climbing the elevator shaft. [Sees a ladder across the shaft.] Well, there's a ladder. I cou- I can jump that. I'm gonna need a running start, though. [he begins backing up to gain momentum] This right here is why you should eat Wheaties in the morning. I guess any breakfast is better for you than the two shots of vodka I had. Whatever, let's do this! [he sprints towards the shaft.] OOGA CHAKA, OOGA CHAKA, HOOT!
[Freeman jumps through the elevator's doorway and grabs onto the ladder, but slips on impact.]
Freeman: OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHI- [the screen cuts to black, backed up by flat-line and the sickening crunch of Freeman splattering up against the shaft's ground]
HEV Suit's Voice: HEV activated. Automatic medical systems engaged. Major fractured detected. Internal bleeding detected. Emergency! User death imminent!
- The intro is slightly changed, as Freeman's "eyes" are replaced with X's, foreshadowing his non-canon death later in the episode.
- Despite turning the HEV's voice off, the voice returns in this episodes. However, this episode is a dream and the voice could activate automatically upon the user's death.
- Freeman references Hooked on a Feeling and Looney Tunes.