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Freemen: Alright, so what do we have here? Semi-automatic, some sort of glock, safety's off. Man, good thing I've watched Die Hard like 50 times, otherwise, I wouldn't know anything about guns. Nice! A full clip. That guard must've reloaded before he died. How considerate of him. Oh, this again. Okay. I'll play your game. In the future, everything will be like this. Doors, computers...


[houndeye charges up]


Freemen: No! Man, come on! That thing teleported out of friggin' nowhere! Why?! I don't even know what this is. Maybe I was hasty shooting it. This could be an ambassador. Okay, if I see another one, I'll listen to what it has to say. 


[houndeye squeals]


Freemen: Speak of the devil.


[houndeye charges up] [Gordon imitates sound]


[houndeye sonic attack] 


Freemen: FUCK DAMMIT! IT'S THE SAME STORY EVERY TIME! YOU GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, AND THEY TRY AND KILL YOU! THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR TRYING TO BE NICE! Oh-ho, here we go.


[houndeyes chirp] 


Freemen: SUCK ON THIS, YOU JUMPING BOOGERS! Someone up there?! Guess not. Well, that felt good. Ah. I guess that's the Room of Death. Don't want to go in there. Nice of them to put up signs, though. Huh, that's the symbol for poison. Maybe we're just trying to kill the whole world.  Doing a good job so far.


[teleportation sound]


Freemen: I'm guessing I'm not going to like what's behind Door #1 here.


[vortigaunt charging up]


Freemen: I was right.


[vortigaunt bolt]


Freemen: Drurrhhh! Drrruuurrrgh! Damn, that hurts! Okay, that's it! It's official: All aliens are bastards! Especially you!  Hold still.


[chuckling] 


Freemen: Nice! That was a pretty good shot. Not so tough now that I've got a gun, are ya?  Oh, this is a dead end. Hey, a jack in the box. Maybe I was being too hard on everybody about them staying alive earlier. I'm starting to see where And you! You're the problem.re they could have some problems with that. Now why do we have bars here? Do we have our own prison block, too?  And you! You're the problem.  You know how they say you're either part of the help or part of the problem?  Well, they were talking about you!  There. Now you're part of the solution.  All right, let's see.  I've gotten out of tougher cells than this.



[straining]



Freemen: Or not. Wait, what's this? I guess it's either this or the Rooms of Death. Hey, wait, how do I get back up? Damn. White men in armored hazmat suits can't jump.  You know, I'm not sure if coming down here was either smart or else really stupid.  Although the same could be said for today's experiment.  It would've been really smart if it had worked.  I guess this opens the gate.  Oh, no! That was stupid!  I'm gonna die!


[underwater mumbling]


Freemen: [gasping] Hey, I'm on the other side. I guess I'm still not sure if that was smart or stupid.  I guess it was both. Smupid. Oh, lovely.  This must be our Pipeline of  Poison. Yuck, I was swimming in that.  Knowing the toxic sludge we're so fond of, my skin's gonna turn red,  my hair will fall out,

and I'll start pissing blood.  Thanks, Black Mesa! Don't be a dead end. Oh, good. It goes somewhere.  I'm not sure I really want to be going down into the center of the Earth,  but then I don't see an emergency exit! Hey, some ammo clips. At least somebody's trying to cheer me up.  Ugh, they're covered in blood. It was nice of him to die for me so I could have his ammo,  but I just don't know if it's worth this.  Now it's all over my suit.  I guess this starts the lift.  Whoa! Train's leaving the station! All aboard! No, not you! You don't have a ticket! Urgh. Damn...  This suit does not protect against gravity.


[clearing throat]


Freemen: Hey, what was that? Face huggers!  Yee... batter up! Strike one! Strike two! It's raining men! I-I mean aliens! 

Why is this taking so long? I could fall faster than this. NO! SHUT UP!  NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION! YOU'RE ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS! NOW, DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD AND JUMP IN THIS GIANT MEAT GRINDER! NO! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! YOU'RE ALL INCOMPETENT! Come on, come on, c'mon, cmoncmoncmoncmon! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS! OH, THAT'S GOOD! TELEPORT IN MORE CREEPS!  THIS PLACE ISN'T CRAZY ENOUGH, YET!  WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT HAPPENED?!  WHY DO ALL THESE CATWALKS SUCK SO BAD?  I CAN'T JUMP THIS! What do I do? Uhhh...  Oh, good. I was hoping you'd come along to hurry me up.  Okay, this is stupid.  So far, so good.  Don't slip.  Now what? This sucks.

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